Home Is Where The Heart Is

This post is a little bit more personal but I felt the need to address it.

When I first moved to university I could not have been more excited. I was looking forward to having independence, cooking and shopping for myself, meeting new people and just experiencing the next stage in my life. Of course there were a good few tears when my parents left me at my accommodation but in general I was happy to be there. After speaking to all of my friends from home, the same seemed to be applying to them too. Now I was a little unfortunate in that the building I moved into wasn't actually finished, and so this meant no Internet for what (was supposed to be a week maximum) ended up being months before we had a semi-reliable connection. I was also in a studio room consisting of two bunk beds which I had to share with a complete stranger (that it turned out I didn't get on with that well). After fresher's week died down I began to feel really homesick, especially with not being able to facetime my family. I found this incredibly difficult. The worst part would be eating alone some nights, staring at a blank wall because I couldn't even watch youtube or netflix! This was the disadvantage of not being in a traditional uni flat with a kitchen/living area shared between at least 6 people.


This was so much harder than I expected, and although I had new friends that I'd known a couple of weeks, during the day of my birthday I had never felt that alone (luckily I had a great time that night). I also felt that I couldn't talk to any of my home friends about it because I was embarrassed, they were all out having an amazing time loving their new lives and I hated to admit that I wasn't. It turns out that since admitting this to them about a year later, most of us had been struggling with homesickness at one point or another, but neither wanted to admit it at the time!

Getting to the main point of this post- it's okay to miss home! I was afraid people would think I was childish or pathetic that I couldn't handle being away from my parents, but I've come to realise that's not the case. By sharing with people that I was missing home I felt less alone than if I tried to hide it and bottle it up, and the likelihood is they've felt that way too.

Who wouldn't miss these two?

I hate that there is a stigma of weakness attached to being homesick. I just have a really great home, with a great family and two beautiful dogs (who I actually miss the most! You can find other humans but there's no dog living with you at uni!) So yes, I miss my home most days, and I'm nearly 21 years old. But I'm not ashamed of that anymore, and I actually feel better allowing myself to miss home and telling myself it's okay. But here are a few things that have helped me over the years when I've been away from home:

1. Don't video call your family every day -  Definitely keep in contact, but I made this mistake when I lived in Canada and seeing them in my home everyday just made it harder! You need to embrace where you are as much as possible and surround yourself with other people you like, because sitting in front of a screen crying every day will not help (trust me).
2. Keep yourself busy - as I mentioned before, immerse yourself in what is around you so you have less time to think about home, and when you do talk to your family you can be raving about all the exciting things you have been doing, that way you're reminding yourself of the good times you're having away from home as well.
3. Have visits planned - I find it so much easier to live away from home if I have train tickets booked so I can look forward to my next visit. This also stops the temptation of going home spontaneously, some weekends if I'm wishing I could leave, knowing I'll be there in a few weeks time anyway stops me from just hopping on a train.
4. Go to the park - now this won't work for everyone, but I have moved from a town in the countryside to a city centre, so not only do I love going to a park every now and then to escape the city, you can pretty much guarantee seeing a dog! So if you're like me and love animals, it's a great way to help you through the dogless months.
5. Finally, talk about it - I've already mentioned this but talk to your friends! I feel so much better after talking to one of my flat mates and having a cuddle if I feel alone and homesick. There's nothing worse than sitting alone if you're feeling lonely! Plus it's great friendship bonding if you're a fresher and just getting closer to your new friends.

Sorry this was such a rambley blog post! I hope reading this has helped some people to feel less alone in being homesick, I know if I'd seen this when I first left home (and had working Internet) this would have helped me handle my homesickness a lot.